Written by Elisa Beatriz Camacho de Sousa
To start this opinion article, I will express my happiness since it’s Mariah Carey’s season again. Christmas lights, cold weather, dressing your pets with Santa Claus’s costume, all of what makes the holidays memorable is upon us.
However, even with all the joy that represents this time of year, the naughty list still exists and sometimes can even increase, especially from the ones you least expect. Can this be the case of our favorite celebrity of the season, dear old Santa?
We all know him as the generous bearded and fluffy figure that works tirelessly to bring presents and happiness to every household once a year, but Santa Claus has a dark side that the Law-and-Order Special Holiday Unit has been trying to hunt down for years. This post brings an enlightening perspective about the crimes perpetrated by the jolly old elf each holiday season.
- Animal abuse[1]
Forcing nine reindeers pulling his sleigh through immensurable distances without rest appears harsh and immoral. We can consider this intentional ill-treatment of his animals.
- Illegal surveillance[2]
As we all know by the songs, “he sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been good or bad”. I don’t know about you guys, but I didn’t sign any documentation wavering my right to privacy, so my theory is that Santa lodged some kind of shady technology in the presents he delivers to surveille us without our knowledge. The Big Brother is St. Nick.
- Child endangerment[3]
Santa carelessly inflicts mental wounds on children by filling some of their stockings with coal. Since we all know that if we receive coal, it’s a sign we’ve been bad, Santa exploits this knowledge and impacts kid’s self-esteem and self-worth all around the world. Plus, being good or bad is purely subjective and applying that kind of discrimination seems a bit much, don’t you think?
- Slavery[4]
With his feudal elf system, Santa has established himself as a crime boss any crime organization would look up to. Not paying his elves a minimum wage nor, considering the excess of hours they work, keeping them in safe working conditions, elves are coerced into supporting illegal activities and propping a world-renowned criminal.
All this law-breaking, especially at such a magical time of the year is truly heartbreaking, but when we consider that Santa is over 1700 years old, we must admit that he is quite the smooth operator. Besides, perhaps in this case, the ends justify the means, considering that he is doing all of this for the good of the world, for peace and joy. And let’s face it, the holidays aren’t the same without our jolly naughty bearded fellow so even though he is a crime boss, we can say he still leaves smiles all around the world.
Merry Christmas!
[1] Couling, J. Oxford University Press. 2014.
[2] Reeve, B. Santa: jolly gift giver, or creeping trespasser? Syndney Healthy Law. 2015.
[3] Crisp, P. Christmas crimes: These are the laws Santa breaks. The University of Law. 2019
[4] Sheppard, M. Santa Claus, and the law. Custodia Legis, Washington D.C. 2021.